The Man Trap, Again

A few months ago, on the old website, I hatched a plan to, well, trap myself a man. The plan was to buy season tickets to Something or Other—and invite dashing, eligible men to go with me. That way, I’d have an “excuse” to ask them out (“hey, I have this extra ticket that’s going to waste”), and I’d be hanging out with guys with similar interests.

I didn’t get my act together early enough to buy more than a handful of Flyers tickets, but I’m now the proud owner of a pair of tickets to 17 Phillies games this year. Actually, I’m now the owner of tickets to 16 games, as I used the first pair last Thursday (for an exciting, if chilly, come-from-behind victory over the Nationals). If you’re looking for me, that’s me in Section 211, hoping, desperately, that no one too tall will be sitting in Row 5, Seat 6, directly in my line of sight.

So now comes the hard part. How do I actually use this Man Trap? To meet men, I mean. I really don’t have a clue.

So far, I’ve been inviting dashing, eligible—but presumptively straight—men to hang out with me. I’m asking friends, or acquaintances, and that’s really not the point of the Man Trap. For Friday night’s Flyers game, for instance, I asked a former colleague. True, I’ve had a crush on him since about 15 minutes after we met, but surely I’d know by now if he might be interested in me. And for my first Phillies game of the season, I asked an absolutely cool current colleague. (P.S. If either of these men is not 100% straight, please let me know. ASAP.)

Now, of course, I had fun hanging out with these guys. They’re friends, after all. And I suppose I should just be happy to have good friends to hang out with. It’s better than sitting home alone. Or going everywhere by myself.

I just haven’t figured out how to meet dashing, eligible, gay men who might be interested in Flyers or Phillies games, or avant garde music, or bluegrass music, or any of the other events I’m likely carrying tickets for these days. Do I take out a personals ad, highlighting my Phillies fandom? I’m already on all the usual gay dating sites, and that hasn’t gotten me anywhere. My friends aren’t any help, either. Doesn’t anybody fix their friends up anymore? Because, God knows, I obviously need the help.

Now that I have the bait, I don’t know where to set the Man Trap.

Aargh.